Late night baking

Aren't tired of rhubarb yet?



Alice sent me a link to this rhubarb coffee cake. It's WONderful. And I did not wait for it to "cool completely before serving." It's already after midnight, and no way am I waiting until morning. I'll have some then, too.

Meditating by the fire

Hmmmm...

This was supposed to be a thoughtful post about sitting around the fire, and making decisions about my next steps.

But it is now 12:04 am and I am just too sleepy.

ZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZ

Molly earns her keep

I'm not sure why I got a dog. I guess because it "just happened"...rather like the cats that come into my life (and, hopefully, go out again, into someone else's).

One rationalization was that I would be forced to get out and about, because unlike cats, dogs do not take kindly to being ignored. I can't keep her stuffed in a crate all day, or tied up, so we go for walks.

Well, you can only walk up and down your own road, or up the hill, "X" many times before things start looking exceedingly familiar. So I've been running errands after the blaze is off the sun, so I can take Molly with me without her frying in the truck. In a quick trip to Owego yesterday in search of cheap Tiki-torches (so the bear doesn't fall over me as I sit in my side yard at night), we stopped at a park in Owego, to visit the stony creek. Much to my surprise, there is a nature trail there.

I had no idea.







There were far more human artifacts than natural ones. An old house. A railroad bridge (in use). A small sand and clay bike jump (complete with graffiti-covered bench).



This whole area--and much of Owego--was underwater during the flood a few years ago. My truck would have been four feet underwater where I parked, and I'm guessing this ribcage was washed against the tree far over my head when the waters receded. Whether it was mere bones then, or a dead deer, I can't guess.



I expect to spend the summer finding other places to explore now that I have a furry little midget staring at me with a waving tail that says "I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored!"

what do you think?

I think they may be calling me.

Watching paint dry...

Who said it was boring? I can't imagine a better way to spend a beautiful May afternoon.



It seems like a number of the most unpleasant tasks I've been putting off were sitting on my front porch. The bird poop on the cushions of my porch chairs. The unpainted stand I picked up alongside the road for free. The pile of kitten-pooped towels that need to be shaken out and washed. The porch table that needs to be moved out of Molly's reach so she doesn't climb up it, launch herself off over the rail, and hang herself (which she nearly did the other day. Dogs! Stupid humans--me!)

I've been ignoring them all for awhile.

I took a great course in college with Richard Creel. It was on B.F. Skinner and how all we were (as selves) a product of our environment, period. When we discussed whether or not free will could exist in such a state, Dr. Creel pointed out that you could choose to change your environment, and therefore change yourself.

;)

So if I am not completing Task A, B, and C, the thing to do is undertake Task D, which will force me to complete the first three.

So today I picked up a gallon of green semi-gloss porch paint and...painted the porch.

Which meant the poopie towels had to be picked up, the table moved, the cushions may as well get scrubbed off, etc.

So here I sit an hour later, watching paint dry.

And yes, that is my glass of wine on the railing that I have painted out of my reach. And no, I did not wade through the garden to fetch it from the other side. I did indeed pour myself another little glass of wine.

Because I am, at heart, a lazy girl. And I really want to enjoy watching my paint dry.

Open Gardens this summer

I marked these on my calendar so I'd have one less postcard floating around my kitchen, and thought I'd share it here as well. There will be Open Garden days in Tompkins County on June 13th and July 11th. You can learn more here.

I'll probably go to the Michigan Hollow garden. I've been meaning to for years. And hey, they have a more extensive site here, with more description of the gardens.

Spring is finally here

The garden is cranking out rhubarb, so I've put some out at the farm stand for sale. If it doesn't sell--it's not like we get a lot of traffic here--I'll cut it up and freeze it. I made a rhubarb strawberry crisp at Mother's Day. Mmmmmm...there really is nothing better than rhubarb.



Bear has come to terms with the dog outdoors. He has learned to avoid getting decapitated by the cable Molly is clipped out on, and he has learned that the best way to avoid getting "puppied" is to just walk head-on toward her without pausing. That puts her on her guard. Shy nervous cats are more fun to chase! So while life is still "interesting" inside the house, at least outside all is calm.

Spring also means dining outside. I have a shaker basket that works great for veggies, so tonight I looked in the fridge and freezer, dumped in some leftover chicken, frozen shrimp, and frozen broccoli, cauliflower, and broccoli, tossed it with some dressing and a little coriander pesto, and threw it on the grill.



It was more than I needed, so Bear got some pieces of grilled chicken, and Molly cleaned up the plate. Well, except for the green beans. It was clear green beans were not a hit. But broccoli and cauliflower? Cool!

After seven days of treating Molly's eye with a mild ointment, I think it's time for a trip to the vet. I'm concerned there may be an eyelash irritation issue going on there. We'll let the vet decide.



Bear was rather appalled at the unfair distribution and stared intently as Molly cleaned the plate.



Fall used to be my favorite time of year, but I think spring has overtaken it. Perhaps the proximity of winter to fall has something to do with it. Both, however, are so fleeting. But this is the perfect place to enjoy every season.

Right now my side yard sums up my life. Cat under the picnic table, dog by the porch, lawn mower ever-present, house that needs constant tending, but all in a setting that makes it totally worth it.

Sundays.

Well, I was about to post one of those posts I probably would have deleted the next day. I'll save some time and delete it now. In fact, I didn't even finish it. Such an improvement from a year ago!

I painted three more sections of fence, cleaned some more junk out of the barn and the upstairs, ran into town to buy a bag of food for the Fast Food Ferals and refilled their secure food can, came home, mowed some more lawn and put away the tarps that were over the woodpiles for the winter, burned the yard sticks in the firepit, and sat with a glass of wine and contemplated the flames for awhile.

I'm looking forward to Memorial Day 2010. I figure if I feel this much better after a year, I'll feel positively giddy after two.

I think it may be time for cake. I need some cheering up.

I finally made that chocolate cake...

Well, cupcakes, that is. I love unfrosted chocolate cake in the morning, but if I make a cake, half of it goes uneaten. I can haul some cupcakes off to the neighbors or a friend and not waste them. Although I'm sure other people would prefer theirs frosted.

I was sitting here planning my day tomorrow, and it occurred to me that the Sunday paper, coffee, and chocolate cake would start things out perfectly.

Waaaay too many things to get done tomorrow!

Last night I watched a movie at midnight. Tonight I made cake!

Is midnight fun time?

Well, after work I finished up the photo albums (except for printing off my Key West photos to add) and scraped and painted two sections of fence. Ten more to go! I took a half hour to sit on the porch with Molly and a glass of wine. Once the sun inched toward the horizen, Molly and I drove into Ithaca to Petsmart to get KMR for the kittens. I was entirely out, so there was no waiting until Saturday.

Molly loves Petsmart. She snarls and barks at the big dogs and doesn't seen to understand why they are then reluctant to make friends. She LOVES the kids. Loves, loves, loves the kids. And the parents love her...this cute soft little wiggly dog. I need to make sure I keep her nails clipped. Molly made up to a toddler that looked to be about three, and a young man who may have been learning disabled. Dad told the young man to get right down on the floor with her, and indeed he did, cuddling with Molly the entire time I was checking out.

I made her a tag with their annoying engraving machine. Now she jingles very loudly with both a tag and her license. Ugh. Hate that.

I've discovered that having a dog is a bit of a guy magnet! I'll have to keep that in mind when I'm actually interested, LOL!

When I got home it was:

Walk Molly
Put away the bird feeders
Take care of the cat facility, including dumping cat boxes as tomorrow is trash day
Dump cat boxes in the house
Vacuum
Feed the kittens
Feed the cats
Feed Molly
Clean the kitchen.
Ignore the pile of trash by the door as I'm too tired to haul it all down to the trash cans by the barn, and raccoons will rip it open if I put it on the porch.

I was looking forward to watching a Netflix movie tonight, as I need something to make me laugh. But now it's midnight!

Do I watch it, or go to bed?

(Post-note: I watched it!)

The sun is back

After a one-day hiatus, the sun is back. Which means the lawn, happily watered by yesterday's rain, will leap up another few inches under today's rays.

The wonders of wireless means I can use the laptop on the porch. It's OK for blogging, but the glare on the screen makes it too difficult to work, so I'll be headed back inside. Molly doesn't understand why Bear won't play.





After a few attempts, and a good swat from Bear, she gives up to go dig holes under the pine tree at the foot of the steps, leaving the porch to Bear and myself.

We are clearly too boring for a puppy whose morning walk is never long enough!

I'm almost done with photos. I have two large piles left to go, so I went to pick up another album. When I got there, the type of album I am using was almost all gone, so I purchased two. That should take care of the next few years of new photos.

It's awfully nice to just be able to put new photos right into an album rather than have them kick around loose for...decades. Yet another time-and-clutter saver.



So that's the schedule for the weekend: Finish photos, mow the lawn (as always), scrape and paint the front fence, take trash to the transfer station, catch some kitties at the track, clean the house, feed kittens...

Another task off the list

When work ended today I grabbed Molly and her tie-out and headed over to the barn with a paint brush and a can of red stain to finish the bottom third of the barn.

Done.

Molly, however, unwilling to just lay down, got herself liberally covered with stain. Thank goodness it was latex. She has received her first bath and is a blonde dog once again. She doesn't like it much, but she was pretty good, with no tendency to nip. I'm sure that will make Nancy happy, as I plan on getting her baths at The Grooming Room now and then.

However she became absolutely psycho with happiness once it was over. I finally took her out to the tall grass where she had to make huge leaps to make progress, in order to wear her out. I'm not sure I succeeded, but her brain seems to have engaged again, at least.

So "paint barn" is off the list. "Scrape and paint fence" is next!

What would I do without Craigslist?

I'm still cleaning out the lower barn. A lot of bulk has been trash, metal, or tires, all of which I could take care of at the Solid Waste Transfer station. Some is wood, which can be stacked elsewhere.

But what to do with six buckets of coal?

Craiglist. And who knew someone would drive all this way for six buckets of coal? I was swamped with responses within just a few hours.

The barn is full of nooks and crannies like this one below. A recycling mug that's been out there for years. Wash or toss? A duck candle holder. Huh. Wedges, which I'm sure Mark will want when he comes to claim the last of his stuff. Rubber gloves that will likely disintegrate when I touch them. It's all quite depressing, going through stuff another human squirreled away.



But then something makes you smile. I was grabbing a wedge (to use to pry open a five-gallon bucket to see if it was yet another bucket full of coal. It was), and a little wren burst out of this nest over my hand. I hadn't even seen it there.



So this particular nook of clutter will remain unmolested for awhile longer until the little ones feather out and fly away.

Out of sadness, the sweetest things emerge.

By the time I finished this, the buckets of coal were gone. Adios, coal. Thank-you, Craigslist.

Morning walk

Whereupon Susan adds a canine to the mix

I was returning a crate to a Waverly resident when she pointed out a little dog tied up in an adjacent back yard. The family, she told me, was expecting another child and wished to find another home for the pup. The dog was digging under the fence and would come over for attention. Therefore they'd resorted to tying her when she was outside to keep her from wandering.

I've been thinking about getting a dog at some point, but I had in mind an older shelter dog. I'm not opposed to getting a dog via re-homing...after all, that's what we tell "responsible" people to do--to rehome a dog they don't wish to keep, rather than dumping it on a shelter. I made this mistake of mentioning that I was thinking of getting a small dog that could travel with me.

Later last week I got an email from the Waverly resident. Apparently the dog owners had seen us looking and had come over to talk to her. She told them of my interest in the dog, and they said they'd be around this weekend. So after I hauled trash to the Barton transfer station Saturday a.m., I went over to visit.

It was sort of a done deal. We took Molly over to Dian's apartment to check her out. She's higher energy than I was looking for, but she had no problem having her ears and feet handled. She's totally untrained as as commands go, but it was clear she was intelligent. She was a bit mouthy. I took her for a drive around the block in my truck, and although it seemed she was not used to vehicles, she was fine with it. So I went over to tell the owners I would take her. It was just a matter of them handing me her records and swapping email addresses. That was so odd to me, given that I'm so paranoid about to whom my kittens go to, but Dian said she had told them I would give a good home.

The records indicated they'd taken the pup to the vet a couple of times, as a good owner ought, and the owner related how they'd adopted their other dog from the local shelter and then nursed her through parvo (!!!!! - not so many new puppy owners succeed at that), complete with a $700 vet bill, so I was reassured.

As soon as I got home with Molly I noticed the phone message telling me there was a nest of kittens at the stables, so she was thrown right back into the passenger seat for her first field trip.

Given that the little dog has been pulled from her home, and stuffed in a household full of cats with a woman who quietly insists on her sitting before getting a treat or going out the door, won't let her jump on the bed, crates her at night (she's pretty good!), and doesn't let her leap up and lick her face, she's doing fairly well. My dog experience is pretty limited. I didn't want to overwhelm her with rules before she was bonded to me, but on the other hand, I don't want her to think it's OK to do certain things and then try to tell her later that it's not.

The cats are NOT happy. Thank goodness for great big Bear, who does not run away, and gave the pup a good smack when she got too enthusiastic. Bear also runs after Molly when Molly runs after the other cats, and indeed gave her another trouncing when she made Owlie squawl in distress after being cornered. The cat chasing is a bit of a concern. You can hardly blame the pup for chasing a creature that insists on running away. Owlie may have to go out to the cat facility, as the other cats stand their ground and I don't want Molly thinking it's fun to chase cats. Owlie on the other hand insists on coming downstairs, staring at Molly with great big eyes and an arched back, and then running like the wind when Molly steps toward her. Not good! I'd chase him too!

Luckily Molly also doesn't mind being clipped out on the porch. I'm introducing crating and clipping slowly. I don't want her to see these as punishment, but I also don't want the cats feeling they are prisoners in their own house. I'm sure they'll be very happy when Molly and I leave on errands today. The weather is cool, so I can leave her in the truck when I go in stores.

I introduced her to the neighbor's big lab, and she was a bit stupid. The lab was pushy, and Molly started being pushy back---not so smart when you only weigh 10 pounds! But they shortly became used to one another.

I picked up an extend-a-leash, and discovered that her energy means a longer and faster walk for me in the morning. Sadly, I'm certain I'll never be able to let her off-leash. I'm sure once she saw a rabbit break, she'd be in the next county. I'll work a lot on "come" with treats on the extend-a-leash and in the fenced garden. Maybe once she slows down with age I may be able to let her off up on the hill. We'll see.

I think she and I will be the perfect match...in about two years!

I guess I'd better sit down and read my Adopted Dog Bible.

PostNote: I've read her vet records and her name was actually "Mallie." Well, she's Molly now. I've got enough of a central NY accent that Mallie sounds quite hick coming out of my mouth!

I often wonder about the romantic history behind "xkcd"

It's always a bit on-target. I guess that it makes me laugh now is a good thing?


http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/together.png




http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/well.png

OK, that deviation from work just cost me ten minutes from lunch. :)

Making the homestead a home

Now that less-freezing weather has arrived, I dedicate myself to improving something on the house, yard, and farm each day. My hope is that I may have some time for relaxation when full summer rolls around. I'd love to have the house entirely painted by the end of June, for example. I also look forward to removing all of the "catch-alls" of junk. One of those "catch-alls" was a half-removed raised bed in the side yard.

Bear was an able assistant as I dug up the remaining dirt, pulled out flagstones from the garden wall in front of the house, and built myself a little patio and firepit. This removed the temptation of purchasing a commercial firepit and is a far better fit with the look of the house...and my wallet.






I'll let the grass creep in around the edges, but keep the design in the middle clear of weeds. The millstone was here when I moved in. The bricks I found by wandering around the farm with a sharp eye for cast-aside things. So there are a few more things that I was tripping over that now have a purpose.



There was a flowerbox kicking around on the porch--part of a gift from one of Mark's students one Christmas. It now also has a purpose in life.

A walk in the garden this morning, coffee cup in hand, revealed seedlings that pushed forth after yesterday's soaking rain. Today the sun is supposed to break free. Soon I'll be eating out of the garden!



Spring is good.

The sunshine cometh, and with it, a serious case of the sleepies

Is it only Wednesday? I keep hoping it's Thursday and that tomorrow is Friday. Alas, it's not to be. I am trudging along in a sort of fog. Three emails, wash dishes, pet a kitty. An email, fold some laundry, brew some tea. Two emails, check the cat food bowl on the porch...there's a dent in it. The orange cat has apparently visited and eaten his fill.

Two more emails...and Owlie is creeping up on a pen and plans to kill the wicked thing with one strike of his paw. But I goosed his butt and he levitated in alarm instead. Kitten cruelty...it's such fun.

More tea please.

Wood is stacked; compost tumbler is tumbling...

Ugh. I am tired.

Today it was sunny, and warmer, so after a long day at work (during which I made myself a heavy lunch of rice and veggies so I wouldn't be hungry for dinner, and wrestled with a temperamental computer) I dragged myself outdoors, stacked the very last of the wood (finally), put together the compost tumbler that has been sitting out in the bushes for two years, dumped the compost in it, took out the recycling, hauled cat litter out of the truck, dumped and refilled the house cat-boxes, planted the pansies in the window boxes on the barn, tucked in the kitties in the cat facility...and put some tea on while I answer more email for work.

Tuckered, tuckered, tuckered...

Now it's time to take Bear out to his run in the cat facility, with his low-cal food. He is SUCH a tub! He would eat every moment of the day if he could.

Living in the valley

It was a very chilly but very sunny drive home from a really great dinner with family in Greene (and yes, there is a family connection with the name of the village). I stopped by to visit Stephanie, Zuzu, and Jasper today in Endicott, so decided to take Rt 17C home instead of the highway, and then took the valley road to my house. Halsey Valley is around 15 miles long, winding north/south, and the prettiest place you can imagine. There are pockets of wealth and pockets of poverty--a snapshot of America from end to end. The creek that wanders through it makes me long for a plastic kayak or poke boat to explore.

Someday.

Post Note: Oh, good lord, Google Street View actually found its way down Halsey Valley Road last fall. At least they didn't do my side road. How creepy.

No more NY whining

In lower-central NY, we like to whine about our weather. But there is actually something good to be said for weather that is reasonably predictable and falls within a standard pattern. Around November, snow falls and stays, and somewhere around the end of April you can be (fairly) certain snow is over (but you shouldn't rule it out). If you are adventurous, you can try gardening in April and May, but if you don't want to deal with stress, you wait until June. You keep extra water on hand in case there is an ice storm in winter or a bad thunderstorm in summer, but these usually go unused. We get an occasional tornado, but usually our weather experts argue for weeks over whether it was a "real" tornado.

They don't argue over whether tornados are "real" in Arkansas. They know they are.

Since working in animal-shelter support, I've become very weather-aware, nationally, post-Katrina. And I've come to the conclusion that lower-central NYS is a pretty darned safe place to live. Yeah, ok, getting struck by lightning is no fun. But it's manageable, and it hit only my house. It didn't take out a bunch of neighbors. In my area, as long as you have snow tires, a snow shovel, some house fans for summer, and a good sense of humor, you are pretty much OK.

We do have some pretty nasty floods (and those occasional tornados) in my area. But -- on an individual basis -- it is possible to mitigate that by choosing a house out of the flood zone, and tucked in the one of the valleys where tornados seem less likely to strike.

But no huge wildfires like Texas and California. No wide-swath tornados. Hurricanes just bring us some heavy rain.

It's time I stopped whining about snow flurries in April, and appreciate the fact I'm a central-NYS lifer.

Life is chilly, but life is good

I could do without the 30F days, grey skies, and snow flurries, but nonetheless, spring is creeping in. I still have plenty of wood left, so the house is toasty, and the cats have not yet rebelled.



Cricket for some reason has been extra affectionate, to the point of asking to be lugged around the house (no big effort at 6lbs) and even sleeping with me. I'm not sure what's up with that.



Today was meat day...the day to go over to Matt's house and join the locals in picking up his locally-raised pork, straight from the butcher. Sausage, bacon, pork chops, hams, pork roasts, ribs...a year's worth of meat for around $190. The point of this is for the pork to be the only meat I eat, once a week, and then avoid restaurant and supermarket meat of unknown origin, and unknown animal care. I backslide periodically, so I guess it's time to renew my local eating vows.

To that end, I want to see vacuum-packed garden veggies filling my freezer at the conclusion of this summer as well. Last week when I was warm I cleaned out one raised bed in the garden above the house,and started veggies I'll eat as soon as they grow: lettuce, spinach, peas, etc. Then I'll start veggies I can freeze for at least the fall and first part of the winter. And then I'll start the flower gardens and community veggie garden below by the barn.

I put labels on the tiles Douglas made nine years ago, to use as garden markers.



The windows from the barn aren't big enough to cover the entire bed. I also need to bring the sides up higher; there's wood enough to do that.

I'm getting there.



It would help if it would warm up a bit. I hope to fire up the tiller this weekend.

I had some sausage left from last year, so I made sausage, potato, and veggie soup today, which served well for both lunch and dinner, along with nan bread and tomato-Gorgonzola spread. In the soup, I used three potatoes and two parsnips instead of all potatoes. I also added extra water and pulled out about two cups of broth to use for stock for the next batch of soup, before I added the milk. And I used the wand blender to puree part of the soup so it was heartier.

It's time to do more cooking out of the freezer and garden, instead of out of boxes.

Finally sorting photos after two decades

One of those things on the "always intend to do" list is/was "put photographs in albums." I'm cleaning out the upstairs so that I can rent it, and that is where boxes of photos, and my old college albums, reside. So I got three matching albums (hopefully I won't need more)and sat down with a pot of coffee to sort through them this morning.



I'm glad I didn't try to do this earlier. Things are going OK so far, but I finally did switch, just now, from coffee to wine as I deal with photos "pre-breakup"--travels, conferences, home fix-ups etc. that we did together. I have a small pile of "probably should not throw out now; will see if I want to throw out later" but there are a lot of "throw-out now" photos...primarily doubles of rescued cats over the years. Wedding photos, well, I'll keep a few of the nicest of those, especially of friends, and that's about it. I'll put those in the pile of "decide on later" and wrap them up well for storage.

It is amazing how much stuff we accumulate throughout our lives. I really thought I had whittled myself down to the bare essentials, but now that I'm thinking of renting and have to entirely clean out the upstairs, I've discovered more stuff I just plain need to get rid of. Incredible.

Post Note: Yup, I'm glad I waited. I find I am smiling and laughing more than cursing. It's not even bittersweet. You know, the last 25 years of my life (from college until now) were incredibly good. I am sorry that my husband was ultimately unhappy at the end. I am sorry that he didn't say something earlier so that we could have worked on it. I'm sorry I was not astute enough to see that what I took for patience was in fact unhappiness, and I'm sorry that I took for granted that he would be there until I sorted out the myriad commitments I was dealing with those last three years (job, sick father, cats, etc.) I hope I've learned something so that I am a better partner should there be a next time around with someone else.

I'm going to go ahead and put the wedding photos in the album rather than packing them away. It's really OK. I'm surprised.

It's too late to turn back the clock, but looking through these photos, there's not a lot I can regret. There was a lot of fun in the 18 years of our acquaintance, and even more accomplishments. And quite a crowd of friends.

April Fools!

Don't forget, as you post off to work, that today is that day when your friends and coworkers will tell you something astounding, you'll fall for it hook, line, and sinker, only to realize you've been had.

I tried to think of a gag I could play via blog, and I'm afraid my imagination fell short. Everything I could think of might have resulted in people sending me money...(if I posted a photo of scads of kittens dropped at my door, etc.) so I figured I'd just post this link to the 5 greatest pranks April Fool's pranks.

And just to prove even people who work from home get to enjoy April Fools Day despite the lack of physical coworkers, I got this from Cafe Press this morning:

I feel like I have a post to write...

...but it just hasn't come out yet.

You know that feeling when you've been sick for weeks and you are just wondering when you are finally going to get over it, and one day, there is that moment when you think, "hey, am I getting better? Is this it?" And maybe there will be some backsliding, but you know that was the day you finally began to get over whatever crap you caught in the first place.

I feel like, after almost a year, I've finally had that day. I was walking the fields yesterday, trying to figure out what I should pay to have mown by the neighbors and what I should just let return to brush and forest. I was checking for ruts and bumps and dangers that might not be as easy to see once there is eight inches of grass growing across the hillsides. I was watching for curious evening deer and avoiding the occasional mucky spot.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I had not been thinking of my "ex" at all. And yes, indeed, I think of him all the time. This deep furious burning anger that is there constantly, hiding an even deeper grief for the loss of a person who didn't exist. It's a poison that contaminates every moment of my life. But while I was walking my fields, it was just plain gone.

And it was really like getting over an illness. You know that moment when you are so happy that you can finally BREATHE? Or that the headache has finally gone away?

It's like that. I could finally breathe.

I hope I have more moments like that.

Getting there

I had the astonishing experience of getting like, almost everything done.

Well, not precisely. But everything I thought of doing, I had time to do. And I did it, rather than obsessing over it. It seems like every day, there is a little less to do, rather than a little more.

I even had time to go for a walk up to the cabin, and sit in the Adirondack chair at the top of their field and watch the sunset.

And watch The Daily Show in bed. :)

I did more than one post on the Wildrun blog...

So that counts for one post here. :) Right?

Okay, okay, I'll post something.

My system, I believe, is slowly going into shock over three warm semi-sunny days in a row, with the possibility of another tomorrow. I got my recycling out before dark (gasp) and my dishes are done before bedtime. AND I scooped the cat boxes in the house. The cat facility cat boxes get scooped twice a day, but my poor house cats sometimes end up giving me the hairy eyeball because I've forgotten them. I haven't yet cleaned the fish tank yet. I did get Linda's check in the mail. I didn't get a thank-you note written today, but I did paint my front door (one home-improvement done each day---check!). I even washed my kitchen garbage can and did three loads of cat laundry.

Ah, and Lynn from work just IM'd me to say GO TO BED!

So I'm going. Good night!

Remember how I promised a blog post every day?

Here it is. Goodnight! :)

Spring cleaning; spring errands.

Having a sick cat sort of changed my priorities this week, and my "make a list and follow it faithfully" plan went by the wayside. This weekend I'm playing catchup, and with the warm weather and bright sun, it enjoyable rather than a chore. I'll keep a running list today:

Got up, washed my head, threw on clothes, and zipped over to Waverly with a Kuranda bed and a big stuffed dog for the pancake breakfast (and Kuranda bed drive). Debra was already there and the place was filling up quickly.

I then realized I'd forgotten my wallet.
Drove home; got wallet.
Picked up Pretty Girl's mom and had a wonderful breakfast.
Zipped home and took care of the cats.
Roared to Ithaca and just made it to the Cornell vet pharmacy to fill a prescription.
Stopped at Treeforms and bought some old fashioned stick candy.
Drove leisurely to fellow cat-fixer Susan's house (yes, another Susan).
Helped her get a stubborn cat into a carrier so she could return him to his home.
Susan offered cat food. Loaded up nine big bags and other goodies. YAY!
Stopped at Verizon to reactivate Mark's old cellphone, as mine died.
(Yes, friends, this means I have yet another cell phone number)
Fed the Fast Food Ferals
Stopped at Home Depot for glue and white duct tape.
Came to a screeching halt at Eddydale. PANSIES!!!!! Bought a whole flat.
Arrived home.
Opened windows. The cats love me now.
Turned on the outside water.
Fed cats.
Dumped cat boxes.
Washed cat boxes.
Mopped the kitchen.
Mopped cat box room floor.
Loaded dishwasher, and washed pots and pans.
Dumped the ashes and cleaned the woodstove.
Spent about an hour staining the outside of the barn.
Sat on the porch in the sun with Bear and tall glass of ice water.
Gave my roses one last sniff, hung them up to dry, and washed the vase.
Cranked the stereo in the great room.
Bleached the Brita pitcher.
Filled water containers for hauling water out the cat facility.
Filled the bird feeders. The chickadees thank me.
Got out the Goo Gone and went at the old bumpersticker marks on the truck's tailgate
Cleaned the truck, put on the magnetic signs, and covered the rust holes with white duct tape. (Duct tape. The non-mechanic's Bondo!)
Emptied and washed the UPSTAIRS cat boxes
Went up to the garden and assessed the fences with Bear.
Hauled bags of cat litter down to the cans by the barn.
Took the Christmas garland off the weathervane and the Christmas wreath off the neck of the Frankengoose.
Hauled wood inside.
Fed the fish
Dumped and washed one cat box in the cat facility.
Hauled the cat food out of the truck into the cat facility. Gave cats some wonderful Science Diet kibble. Cleaned the downstairs cages. Arthur (the new male cat) is a hoot!
(7:30 pm and it's finally getting dark. I'm loving the time change!)
Drove to Spencer to get some groceries and gas.
Went out and took care of the upstairs cats.
Remembered to put the flat of pansies in the barn so they won't freeze tonight.
Petted Faith (Hope's mom), and got a headbutt! Whoo hoo! Faith is tame!
Unpacked the groceries
Lit all the candles in the house
Called mom and made tacos while talking to her. I know, rude as hell.
Shared the rest of the shredded chedder with the cats.
Built a fire.
Picked up the uneaten bits of shredded cheddar cheese
Unloaded the dishwasher
Hand washed the dinner dishes
Dumped all the cat water bowls and refilled them.
Found a canning jar for my old fashioned stick candy.
Looked for the phone message I took from Linda last night. Can't find it. &*%##&!!!
Started a load of laundry
Wrote out a card and family stuff for Linda. Called, got vm.
Put on my "I'm getting old" glasses and fixed a chip in a bowl
Cleaned the bathroom while the tea is steeping.
Fussed over Cricket.
Tea and newspaper.
Nap.....
(Post note, "Nap" became "bed"....)






To be continued. There's no reason for anyone to read this post. I'm just writing it for my own sense of accomplishment.

Getting life in order

It has become clear that 24 hours in a day is simply not enough. Or, perhaps it could be, if I didn't pause to wait seconds thinking "What do I do next?"

So I'm making a list. Yes, indeed, I'm plotting every moment of my day. I figure it will take two weeks to work the bugs out (and new kitties have already thrown a wrench in the works--argh!), but this morning for example, I've already gotten thank-you notes written (one EVERY day), blogged (EVERY day), done one thing I promised to do (helped publicize Stray Haven pancake breakfast), and done some work for, well, Work. I'm now headed out to the cat facility, and will throw a load of laundry in before I go.

I have a daily checklist of things I have to do every single day, from morning to night (including my tasks for my job)and then a list of evening things to do for each night of the week.

It's pretty sad to have to have a checklist to get everything done. I mean, should I really need to be reminded to "Bring in three loads of wood" and to tell myself "Monday evening, recycling; Tuesday evening, clean fish tank?" I'm hoping I won't need it for more than the summer, and then things will be under control and the routine will be ingrained.

However, I really need to get to a point in my life where, for example, the fish tank is cleaned every week and always looks nice, rather than only getting cleaned when it looks like it needs it (or a week after I notice it looks like it needs it).

100% of my anxiety is just thinking about things I haven't gotten done. If I get most things done---less anxiety, right? Sounds good to me!

"Thank God I'm single"

I said it for the first time two days ago, and I actually meant it. I was driving in the darkness, listening to a country-music show (funny, I envisioned her as a brunette, and older) and the host was talking to a teenager who was in angst about a guy she'd been friends with for six years, whom she had feelings for (more than friends), but whom had a girlfriend. It was so sweet, plaintive, and painful, that it took you right back to your own high school emotional traumas, and I laughed in sympathy and without thinking, said it right out loud:

"Thank God I'm single."

And I do have to say that there are a lot of benefits to singlehood, in general. I was chatting with my mother last night about Easter, and it occurred to me I no longer have to worry about whether my partner is bored and wants to leave the gathering. I can just enjoy my family and stay or leave as I wish. Decisions are made simply. Even the best and most thoughtful partner deserves to have their feelings taken into consideration. Being single cuts the decision-making process down to the simplest form. "Yes, I can go" or "No, I can't." There is no "I'll have to check." I won't have to try and steer conversations to topics my partner might enjoy in an attempt to prevent them from being bored. I can just let other people be other people, and enjoy their presence.

There is also an emotional freedom. It's a selfish freedom, but a real one. I've been asked on dates, but frankly, I've said no, because the last thing I need right now is to engage in that "Gosh I like him; Gosh I don't; Gosh how do I tell him; Gosh I think this guy's a stalker" game that comes with dating.

Just not interested, ya know? Of course, not yet being legally separated has a lot to do with it, too. There's just something creepy about dating another person when you don't yet have the piece of paper that says you are on your way to Divorce.

I was joking with my mother about how surprisingly wonderful it has been to set up the house the way I wish, and we both agreed that bringing another human into our own spaces now would be difficult to impossible. Luckily, I have a big house, and I joked that I could give the Next Guy the upstairs to fix up as he wished, I'd have the downstairs, and we could just visit one another's domains. Never again am I going to be frozen by trying to figure out what "someone else might like" and ending up with something both of us aren't happy with.

Being single again makes you look back on marriage and realize how you could have been a better partner, and realize as well that, despite all the pain, there's something to be said for a second chance.

Hey Mom!

Sometimes traditional modes of communication fail, and therefore blog announcement may help. Hey mom, your new email address bounced on me, and my phones are out of order! Just wanted to let you know! Love, your daughter.

Key West blogging

One of the most interesting things I've discovered about being on my own again is that I talk to strangers now. When I was part of a couple, there was a lot of "it's you and me against the world" going on. It's understandable that when you are traveling with someone you love, you share your observations with that one person. There is less need to converse with those who are simply walking by.

Now I'm by myself. It's me IN the world. And vacations are a different kind of relaxation now.

I was quite shy 20 years ago. I expect my various jobs have had a lot to do with me coming out of my shell. When I was single back in my 20s, I used to envision myself as an observer hiding in the forest, looking in at the ring of light around a fire, where all the other people were. I didn't mind that existence. It fit the lone wolf image I cultivated at the time.

I'm not like that anymore--for better or for worse--and I've discovered there is a fantastic freedom in talking to people instead of just watching them. I supposed most people know this already.

So, okay, I'm a slow learner.



Most people in Key West are, of course, from somewhere else. I discovered a jewelry vendor/artist on a pier with his wares laid out before him (click photo to expand). He was dreadlocked, tanned, and originally hailed from Delaware. I bought two necklaces from him--one for myself, and one for my friend Nancy who has helped me through hell this past year. I could have purchased similar necklaces in a shop along Duval Street---or even in Ithaca for that matter. But they wouldn't have been strung in the sun on a pier with the wind blowing, and the cash wouldn't have been passed from the hand of the buyer to the hand of the artist.



Post note: LOOK AT THAT WATER SPARKLE. I swear, I'm going back every year.

Ready for spring

We are back to cold temperatures again, and for some reason, the house just won't get warm. I think it finally has reached that point where the ground, the foundation, the very walls have become saturated with cold and no measly human measures are going to keep up with it.

I retire to my den and the fireplace and wish for spring.

I have only two words for this photo....

Mark. Hofferbert.

Blah blah blah....

Perhaps I'll make a resolution that my posts will be no longer than 500 words. Sometimes I go back and read my own posts and roll my eyes and say "Susan, just shut UP already." :)

This is me, absolutely.

Fear of flying.

I like the last part where she gets a job that requires frequent travel, and mitigates her fear with drugs, alcohol, and meditation.

I am SO "there." I haven't gotten to the drugs part (although I'm considering a trip to a doctor to explore that option), and I've stopped the alcohol because the nasty little bottles of chardonnay onboard now cost $7. I now request a glass of plain ice. But breathing exercises and meditation, and being relieved to find an interesting seat partner...that's me, on every trip.

The things you find on Facebook....

I'm sure you'll need a hint. I'm the fourth from the right, standing, blue shirt with white turtleneck. So there, proof positive that I DID have black hair at one point in my life. :)

Click the photo to expand. That would be 1983, novice crew, Ithaca College.

The sun finally comes out

FINALLY we had a day that wasn't so cold it socked you in the face as soon as you walked out the door. I got some work done in the morning, zoomed into town to buy supplies and feed the Fast Food Ferals, zoomed home to clip the matts on my neighbor's cat's butt, and began to clean, clean, clean.



I did take a short walk to enjoy the day, because who knows if there will be another one.



I also logged into Facebook, which I only joined because someone "friended" me, and discovered about twenty other people had also "friended" me. So I am now a Facebook devotee. I have already chatted with two people I haven't seen in years. Crazy.