Taxes...that's one more load of guilt off my back. And I have a nice neat file here for 2009, and when forms and reports trickle in.
To my knowledge, that's the last time we see one another ever again, except by chance or accident. In the post office in Ithaca NY, LOL! The end of an era.
After I had said "sign here, and here, and here, and here's your copy" and he left, a gentleman in line said "I do taxes too." I told him my accountant was TurboTax and asked him for his card, but alas, he wasn't taking new clients. Then a woman waved her taxes over her head from the front of the line, and I recognized a woman I adopted a cat too.
She came over after posting her taxes, and said "I have sad news."
I hate that. I hate that more than ANYTHING. It's the way everyone tells me that I cat I adopted to them has died.
So sweet Dart has passed on. First she got a vaccine-site sarcoma and her leg was amputated, which she recovered from. The she went out and took on a weasel in a fight and her wounds became septic even after vet treatment, and she was put down. I'm not even sure I have any photos of Dart. I gave the adopter my card and asked her to please email me, because I had to get my taxes postmarked before 5. I hope she will. Perhaps she won't.
So yet another indoor/outdoor cat has died.
I also received word from my neighbors that Rudy disappeared while they were on vacation this summer.
Rudy was dumped here on the farm, and the neighbors were looking for a warehouse cat. Since he had been used to the outdoors, I sent them Rudy. He lived only a year with them before disappearing. They dropped off his shelter (given to them in case he was ever locked out of the warehouse) last week.
Really, I am absolutely done with adopting friendly cats to indoor-outdoor homes. Only two are alive. The rest are all a progression of injury and illness, all resulting in death. I realize the appeal of an indoor/outdoor cat (after all, I have Bear, and had Nick before that), but no more. Indoor only means indoor only. Period.
I have an symbolic demon that haunts me. As my ex walked away and I felt the weight lifted from me, it was the demon that sent my adopter over to me to let me know Dart was dead. Nonetheless, unlike the old days, I'm not letting this get me down, and the demon is banished immediately.
I have a good life, and even when cats die six years after I've adopted them out, they lived many years, happy and loved. I remind myself that there is not a wild animal on my mountain that dies an easy death, yet they have fulfilling lives. I will not let any demon of coincidence destroy the progress I am making.
Before the adopter had told me the tale, I asked her what Dart had died of, and she said "Courage."
When I die, I want to die of Courage.
3 comments:
I totally believe in "indoor only" cats. Poisons, dogs, cars, hawks/owls...too many things out there to harm them.
"Died of Courage"...about made me cry. Bless their precious hearts.
R.I.P.
any animal that is loved has led a better life than many humans on the planet. and you have loved so many. hoping you are happy, not sad.
It is a very hard choice. We now have a large enclosure (really large about half an acre I'd guess) and the fence is checked every morning before the cats are let out. They are in for dinner and stay in at night while the bears, raccoons and whatever come climbing over. Before I got my fence I had a little cat that lived to be outside. I was walking him on a leash which he also loved, for hours every morning but it wasn't enough. One morning I was going out and he was sitting in a chair downstairs looking so depressed because he wanted to be out (the elder cat had been out all his life). So I gave up and opened the door and he bounded out into his natural habitat. Yes, it stressed me out daily but he was happy happy happy. He'd come flying through the cat door with happy chirps. He died of heart failure at 16 months. I got him to the vets but it was too late. So l am glad I let him be outside where we wanted to be. I have a photo I love of him siting in the yard listening to the world he was part of. He had a way too short life but he was dearly loved and lived every day he had to the fullest. I will miss that cat forever, he was my soul mate.
But when I got Harper and Ramona I insisted on and got a 1200.00 fence. They are out but I know where they are.
It's a tough choice but I think some cats would choose shorter lives outside than be in. Harper walks over to my inlaws (inside the fence) every day to visit and he can come up to my office too. They love cats and open the doors for him. Both cats come running when I call them for dinner and they are content.
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